Actor Matthew McConaughey recently visited Fenway Park with his son to watch a game between the Boston Red Sox and the Houston Astros.
Normally a Matthew McConaughey Ballpark sighting would not be a big deal. Celebrities of all shapes and sizes often take in baseball games with their families; the only difference being they usually have better seats than the rest of us.
But during a television interview with the local Houston affiliate, the Academy Award winner dropped some serious rationale for bringing back an often ridiculed fashion accessory.
That accessory is the fanny pack.
Mark my words, before now no one has ever made the fanny pack look like anything other than a human kangaroo pouch.
I am sure if we are all honest with ourselves, there was a time when each of us wore a fanny pack.
Then, when we spotted a vacation photo of us wearing the fanny pack, we suddenly realized just how silly they looked. At that point, the fanny pack was moved to the back of the closet never to be heard from again.
While the fanny pack certainly will not be part of any fashion shows, the accomplished actor made a very good point regarding their practicality during his in-game interview.
“I’m not afraid of the fanny pack, instead of stuffing your pockets,” McConaughey said. “You’ve got to kind of put it on the side to make it look a little not as nerdy, but still, practicality wins out. I’ve got so much gear in here that I don’t want in my pockets.
“How many times are you around somebody and they’re like, ‘I forgot my so and so, I got to go back to the car?’ And you’re like, ‘I got mine right here.’”
With many Ballparks employing a no reentry policy, one can certainly be in bad shape if they find that they have forgotten their “so and so” after reaching their seats.
Back when I covered games as a sports editor, I had a large bag that contained 20 to 25 pounds of everything I thought that I would possibly need to cover that particular game from pens and paper to snacks and rain gear.
Of course, when going to games as a normal fan, a 25 pound attaché case complete with an Associated Press Style Guide, Dictionary and Thesaurus is not really practical.
So, instead of a bag to carry my Ballpark essentials, I have worn cargo shorts for many years on game day as a way to ensure enough room for my tickets, phone, camera, sunglasses, and other must haves, including my “so and so.”
I thought that my cargo short solution was the perfect Ballpark accessory for the busy fan on the go.
However, with one in-game interview, Matthew McConaughey has made me question everything I thought I knew about Ballpark preparedness, as well as Ballpark fashion.
I mean if a fanny pack is cool enough for a former People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, it has got to be cool enough for the rest of us. Right?
While reality is probably not nearly as cool as conjecture, I have the following scenario in mind when I picture a Ballpark bound Matthew McConaughey.
“Going to the Ballpark to see a game. Need my tickets and my camera. All right, all right. Need my phone in case my agent calls with a movie offer. All right. Need some righteous snacks, since I don’t want to pay those inflated Ballpark prices. Into the fanny back they go and away we go. All right, all right, all right.”
In complete fairness, it is hard to know exactly how many “all rights” are enough when it comes to Matthew McConaughey and his Ballpark fanny pack stuffing ritual.
Who knows, as a big-time Hollywood star he may even have a dedicated fanny pack stuffer on staff.
Let that sink in for a minute, it is entirely possible that somewhere in the world someone has on their resume that they stuff Matthew McConaughey’s fanny pack.
Although, something tells me that Matthew McConaughey stuffs his own fanny pack.
While only Matthew McConaughey and the person at the bag check station know for sure what all is in the fanny pack, personally I hope it includes a miniature Oscar statue just for fun.
A few years back, the term the McConaissance was coined as a way to honor the second act of Matthew McConaughey’s career. That second act McConaissance has seen the actor take on more challenging roles and even earned him that aforementioned Academy Award.
For his efforts in freeing our pockets at the Ballpark, and in the spirit of the McConaissance, I say we honor Matthew McConaughey by renaming fanny packs to something worthy of their second act.
The McConaughey pack as a nice ring to it, don’t you think? I mean can I get an all right, all right, all right?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to see if I can dig up my old fanny pack before my next trip to the Ballpark.
Copyright 2014 R. Anderson